remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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