So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
