Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
