What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
