actually, I'm a sock model
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
