oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
