Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
