The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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