There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
