Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
