ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
last night I used snow as a chaser
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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