also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
