When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize