Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize