But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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