Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
