I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
its liver damage thursday
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
