im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize