id be glad to
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
