dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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