How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
