Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
