my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
