I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
