Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
