Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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