Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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