it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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