No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize