PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
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