It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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