it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
