you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
