Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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