sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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