oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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