some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
