So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
