so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
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What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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