Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
