tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Fuck me I smell like cheese
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
