tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Randomize
