i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
