His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
