There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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