i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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