My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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