I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
