He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I am available for nakedness
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
