The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
