We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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