why didn't you poke me back
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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