I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
