How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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