They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
operation have a gay friend backfired
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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