I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
