I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
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