Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
