I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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