Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?

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(615): View more from Tennessee

She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory

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(386): View more from Florida

Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table

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(860): View more from Connecticut

She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.

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(231): View more from Michigan

You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches

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(512): View more from Texas

I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...

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(469): View more from Texas

After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."

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(407): View more from Florida

apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"

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