How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize