Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Randomize
