Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
