all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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