I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
