You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
