is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
