You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize