the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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