I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
