Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
