you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Bring me that man meat
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
